MY FIRST NIGHT WITH JULIE

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" James Bond ends up being tortured in a nasty way with a carpet beater . "

......... from a review of Casino Royale

My older sister used to think that she had a mission to find a girlfriend for me . Needless to say , these seldom worked out . She would try to set me up , even if I had someone ( but who had run foul of her ) . Two years ago I received a mobile telephone summons from her to appear at the  MLTC  , a local tennis club in the Sydney seaside suburb of  Manly  . It was a sunny afternoon and I was not particularly interested in leaving the beach . Arguing with She-who-must-be-obeyed was a waste of time , so I fronted up 30 minutes later .

Gail was seated with two other girls , one was a dog who had been a classmate of my sister , but she had a friend and wow , she was tall with auburn hair and looked straight out of my under the bed library . Her name was Julie , she was originally from Melbourne and , as luck would have it , had moved in only a few blocks from me at Neutral Bay . I started to kid her about being from the wrong side of the hill , because I had Main Harbour views . 

She took my humour well and matched it . But the thing was the chemistry , there wasn't anyone else but the two of us , even the noise of the poker machines didn't register . My sister was taken back by this turn of events , so much for her " older woman " ( by 18 months ) for me , not that I noticed , or cared , at the time .

I was working overtime to get her home to Neutral Bay when the opening came , Julie had some furniture to move . By now it was 5 PM and we made our way back towards Sydney . She-who-must-be-obeyed led the way with her friend in her predictable Camry , Julie in a dinosaur Holden and yours truly in a Z3 ( which I tell everyone I won in a raffle , save buying a lot of shouts that way ) .

Julie's place was great and larger than mine , though I did remind her that a harbour view was a very nice thing to have . She opened a bottle of Chablis and I started to draw a sketch of the room . She asked what I was doing , I told her and she said there was  no need to . I protested , having been through this before with other females ( not to mention being more interested in the furniture in her bedroom ) . She took the pad from my hand and said " Roger , my place , my rules , OK ? " , I nodded .

Well , we moved the table , we moved the chairs , we moved the chairs and the TV and the bookcase and then started moving the lot again . This went on for some time whilst I had the double frustration of seemingly redoing everything and being so close to this creature without having my hands on her . Julie sensed this , well the first part at least , and sat down on the lounge while she had me move the TV along the shelf , a little to the right , a little to the left a few times . I looked across and saw a smile on her face . " OK , you had me going " , I admitted .  I sat beside her , close , very close , in her space . " Dinner " , God , she could play the game , " yes " I replied . " " OK , here's the takeaway menu from the Chinese on the corner and I don't eat western style Chinese . " Damn , she had got me again .

Half an hour later we sat down to an " acceptable choice " ( her words ) of Chinese food and another bottle of Chablis . She was an IT person and had a variety of other interests which mostly matched mine . I am sure she sat opposite rather than beside me to increase my tension , I was about to burst . It was the TV episode revisited . At least I was able to discretely find out that the rest of the place was unpacked ( which included the bedroom ) .

She collected the plates and rinsed them in the sink . The empty food containers fell to the floor , Julie bent over to pick them up . This was too much , her bottom encased in her now stretched tennis shorts . I put my hand on her back and gave her two good smacks with the other . " What was that for ? " , the " TV " I replied , she smiled . " Well lets get on with it . " " What ? " Come on , Roger , you had me undressed within 10 seconds of seeing me at the club . I was speechless and almost did explode on the spot . She gave me a deep throat kiss to die for and led me to the bedroom .

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